An unspeakable loss

"In life we all have an unspeakable secret, and irreversible regret, an unreachable dream, and an unforgettable love.”

― Diego Marchi

This quote sums up perfectly how I feel at the moment.

Something I thought, believed in my bones, would happen, is simply not going to. 

And I'm feeling this loss even more than I thought I would.

I feel dissapointed. Grief. I feel ripped off ! I feel sad. Angry. 

Feeling all of the feelings. 

It has layers this feeling of grief. It's like the beautiful rose above. 

It started small and has grown into something so large and red and vibrant that I struggle to hide it. 

And then, as surely as the rose, it will wilt. Lose it's petals and it's it's vibrancy and it's power. 

Then comes the possability of new growth. Of hope. 

I'm not feeling the hope yet. Just this sadness and loss. 


To my dear friends reading this, I may be blogging this, but I am not ready to talk. It is unspeakable and please let it remain so.